Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
