I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
