im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
