i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
