no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
