If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
