omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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