Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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