he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
ok first of all what the fuck
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize