dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
