Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
