why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
high people should be assigned attendants
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
