i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she pinky promised me she was 18
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
