She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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