I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
