Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
