Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
