it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
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