Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
