my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
