is your mom at the bar?
im six kinds of drunk right now
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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