you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize