just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
