I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
