I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
