cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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