I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Church boner. Awkwardddd
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
