I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
