if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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