Is it normal to miss your booty call?
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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