Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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