It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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