You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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