actually, I'm a sock model
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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