It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
