My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
