What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
