I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize