Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Randomize
