Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
