We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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