pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
