Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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