Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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