i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
