Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
