I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
