butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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