i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
i just google imaged poop.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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