you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
