you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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