im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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