drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Porn is love you can see.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
