If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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