please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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