You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
