so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
