I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
