i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
