Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
